Before I start, let me make one thing absolutely clear. Under no circumstances do the characters or personas used in my writings bear any resemblance to real life people and neither is this post supposed to hold an offence against anybody. It is simply a parody of the existent Gender debate in Bollywood.
“Letter from an Actor to an Item Girl”
Dear Baby doll,
I have been thinking for a very long time to write to you regarding the popularity that you have been gaining prior to just one item song in my film.Yes, my film! Because you don’t work as hard as I do to acquire the flawless six pack abs, soon to be eight.
I would like to remind you that no matter how much you flaunt your sex appeal and the horrendous ‘cholis’, I own this film and no matter what I will never let you take over. And yes, this time I do plan to do the entire film shirtless in order to regain my position at the “World’s Most Desirable Men”.
I’m still not over the trauma of my previous film getting accolades all for Munni. I mean who does that? I have threatened the director not to take any more item girls in the next part or else he would have to cast Dobby Darling instead of me. just remember that I don’t like sharing my credits with silly item girls like you and if you will still try and stick to my movie with ‘Fevicol’…I will sincerely pray to God that you must get married, bear 4-6 children and never get rid of your pregnancy weight,like my ex-girlfriend (Aishwarya Bai).
Don’t just consider this a warning. I mean it Baby doll.
P.S. :Don’t even think of Tweeting, once you get this greeting!
No matter how much you shorten your skirt, Doll!
I’ll make sure, my packs rule the Hall.